~What this means to me~

First of all, I want to say from the bottom of my heart thank you all for letting me in to the primitive friendships you all hold.  One hundred followers was something I really didn't expect.  I know comparatively that it isn't much , but to me, it's more than that.  I don't know if one can understand what this blog means to me, but I will help you try.  

This is a long post, but just try to stay with me here:) :) :)

I have always had big dreams for myself.  No one in my life has ever told me I couldn't be someone or try to reach a dream (except for myself that is).  As a young girl I just wanted to be a competitive gymnast... that's all.  I never got that far.  Then I thought maybe a good singer.  I took choir and singing lessons for 6 years.  Never to be picked for a solo.  Then I thought I would try dancing.  They never let me come back:)  That's ok.  I didn't like it anyway.  I cheered my last year in high school to save myself from emotional heartbreak.  That was very hard for me and I tired my best, but I never was.  I did my best in school but academics were very hard (except art, go figure).  I thought I wasn't smart. 

My dreams were never to be.  I don't tell you this to make one feel sorry.  I am not, it's just part of my life.

Then success.  Finally......I somehow captured and married the man of my dreams.  Then another..... I graduated from college with a degree in Social Work.  Then another......I got to work as a professional.  Then another.......I became a mother.   Life couldn't be better:)

I pocketed my career and degree to be a stay at home mom.  I love my kids so much and have found great joy in them.  They are my life......and then the older two went to school.  For the whole day......what was I to do?  Just me and a small baby here.

Doubts at my worth started creeping in.  I have high expectations for myself.   Was my success and self worth to be measured in how well I made breakfast, or how pretty my child's hair do was that day, or  if the vacuum lines in the carpet were perfect?  But, this was my life.  It was what I chose.  So, I needed another way to feel that success and self worth.  

That's where my blog comes in.  Divine intervention I am sure of it. 

I was so afraid that I would fail at this.  What would I do if this didn't work out?  

But, I found so much more in a blog.  The Lord knew what I needed.  Friends, people to talk to, goals and projects to attain.  Tears stream down my face as I write this so thankful that God loves me enough to hear my pleas for help.  He inspired me to start a blog, what topic to discover, and He sent me you.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving me and for supporting me and for making me feel successful in life again:)  My kids keep me going everyday, my husband makes me feel appriciated and loved,  but you.....you complete everything.  I feel whole.