February 06, 2012

~What this means to me~

First of all, I want to say from the bottom of my heart thank you all for letting me in to the primitive friendships you all hold.  One hundred followers was something I really didn't expect.  I know comparatively that it isn't much , but to me, it's more than that.  I don't know if one can understand what this blog means to me, but I will help you try.  
This is a long post, but just try to stay with me here:) :) :)

I have always had big dreams for myself.  No one in my life has ever told me I couldn't be someone or try to reach a dream (except for myself that is).  As a young girl I just wanted to be a competitive gymnast... that's all.  I never got that far.  Then I thought maybe a good singer.  I took choir and singing lessons for 6 years.  Never to be picked for a solo.  Then I thought I would try dancing.  They never let me come back:)  That's ok.  I didn't like it anyway.  I cheered my last year in high school to save myself from emotional heartbreak.  That was very hard for me and I tired my best, but I never was.  I did my best in school but academics were very hard (except art, go figure).  I thought I wasn't smart. 
My dreams were never to be.  I don't tell you this to make one feel sorry.  I am not, it's just part of my life.
Then success.  Finally......I somehow captured and married the man of my dreams.  Then another..... I graduated from college with a degree in Social Work.  Then another......I got to work as a professional.  Then another.......I became a mother.   Life couldn't be better:)
I pocketed my career and degree to be a stay at home mom.  I love my kids so much and have found great joy in them.  They are my life......and then the older two went to school.  For the whole day......what was I to do?  Just me and a small baby here.
Doubts at my worth started creeping in.  I have high expectations for myself.   Was my success and self worth to be measured in how well I made breakfast, or how pretty my child's hair do was that day, or  if the vacuum lines in the carpet were perfect?  But, this was my life.  It was what I chose.  So, I needed another way to feel that success and self worth.  
That's where my blog comes in.  Divine intervention I am sure of it. 
I was so afraid that I would fail at this.  What would I do if this didn't work out?  
But, I found so much more in a blog.  The Lord knew what I needed.  Friends, people to talk to, goals and projects to attain.  Tears stream down my face as I write this so thankful that God loves me enough to hear my pleas for help.  He inspired me to start a blog, what topic to discover, and He sent me you.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving me and for supporting me and for making me feel successful in life again:)  My kids keep me going everyday, my husband makes me feel appriciated and loved,  but you.....you complete everything.  I feel whole.  


Green Creek Primitives said...

What a beautiful post Steph, I know I am so glad I found your blog, each time you leave me a comment just makes my day. I know how you feel about blogging, feel the same way about truly finding something that means a lot to me also. The friends you find here are true friends, never judgemental, just there to cheer you on wether you are having a good day or a bad day. I think we are all truly blessed to have all found each other. Looking forward to getting to know you better. Sending you hugs, congrats on 100 followers. Vicky

BumbleBeeLane said...

So glad you decided to take the leap.So many wonderful friends to be found.Congrats on 100! Warm Blessings!~Amy

Hillcresthome Prims said...

Happy on 100 follower's!
This was a very sweet post!
There are so many sweet and loving people out in blog land and I am so happy to say that I have met alot of sweet gals through blogging and I have made some very good friends!

Raymond Homestead said...

Congratulations on your 100 followers! Having a blog is a lot of fun! I enjoy your blog and it is fun coming across people that enjoy the same things!

TheCrankyCrow said...

Awwww....what a sweet and endearing post Steph!!! I think if we are all honest with ourselves, we all, at one point or another, struggle with our self-worth, our value, and our esteem. Sounds to me, though, like you have accomplished much more than many ever dream of....and, gee - I didn't know you were a social worker....And all of us who have been blessed enough to cross your path here in cyberspace are glad that you felt a "need"....You bring so much joy and sweet genuineness to life, I can't imagine anyone feeling otherwise. I only wish you lived next door.....Congratulations on the 100....and I'm sure that number will continue to grow and amaze you!!! Yippee!!! Wishing you a blessing-filled week ahead - Smiles & Hugs ~ Robin

Sandi @ The Primitive Skate said...

Congratulations on your 100 followers!
What a wonderful post!

Jan - Life on Buttermilk Hill said...

Beautiful, sensitive post. It sounds to me that you have accomplished a great deal. 100 followers seem to feel what you have to say is valuable. Congrats!!

Sheila said...

First off congratulations Steph! I'm truly happy for you and so glad that you have been having such a positive experience with all the wonderful and caring friends you've made.
You are blessed~

Linda ★ Parker's Paradise said...

Congrats on 100! What a great day to celebrate!
I think we all doubt ourselves once in a while, but when we look back, we can honestly say that we have had many great successes. I revel in the smallest of successes. And all our prim friends cheer us on. I am among the 100 that are super happy you decided to join us here!
Continued success, my friend!

A Primitive Homestead said...

100 Congrats! I enjoy reading your posts & your visits to my blog. Good to have you for my friend. Blessings!

Gettysburg Homestead said...

Woohoo!!!! 100!!!!!

Great post Steph. I think a lot of us can say the same things you do :-)

Never So Simple said...

Congratulations on 100 followers. I just hit a 100 myself. it is exciting to know that many people care to hear what you have to say. Here's to us hitting 200.


Trace4J said...

Congrats on 100 followers. I make 102!
Hugs to you


Linda ★ Parker's Paradise said...

do I recognize those eggs?

Cailey said...

:) Love you Steph! so much. congrats to 100!!! Its wonderful to find something that really can help you feeling good about yourself.

Angie Berry said...

Aw Steph, that is so sweet and making me tear up! I know exactly what you mean about life after kids and blogging. As I was talking to God last night, I was telling Him how weird it was for me to pray for my blog friends that I have never even met in real life but yet feel so very close too. I know that He has blessed me with these wonderful blog friendships especially at a time when I, like you desperately needed it. He is so very good to us and I'm thankful for your friendship that He has blessed me with!

Goedele François said...

Your post and all the comments made me tear up too! I recognize so much of it. And yes, maybe it is the Lord who keeps me going and keeps me showing the right direction (like starting a blog). Why I say 'maybe'? I live in a society in Europe where the younger generations no longer go to church (Catholic). This generation doesn't know what it believes in anymore and is hence very lost. I'm searching too. Your post touched my heart deeply.